This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

 

Set the ring tone on your cell phone to an embarrassing bodily function and turn the volume up all the way. Hide your phone in their desk or under their chair. Call your cell phone from your desk phone. Everyone will think your victim has a problem!

This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

How can I think outside the box when I work inside a cube? 

Tie a piece of cord under the victim's office chair to hold down the lever that adjusts the chair height. (When you sit on the chair it will slide all the way down, but as soon as you stand up the chair will rise all the way up.) All the ups and downs will drive the victim crazy.

Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule. No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them.(R&D Supervisor ) 

We recently received a memo from senior management saying, This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the subject mentioned above." (Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division)

 

Hi. I'm in a staff meeting. There are 83 ceiling tiles in our meeting room. And 8 light fixtures, with 24 fluorescent bulbs. That is all.

Don't interrupt Me While I'm Ignoring you

Don't take life so seriously . It isn't permanent

We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees. (AT&T Lines Division)

You take a "sick" day. The next morning the boss asks you, "So, how was the fishing on Rock Creek yesterday?"

This trick works great if you work in an office building that has two entrances. Print up two signs that say "Please Use Other Door." Put one on each door, with arrows pointing toward the opposite door.